Anonymous asked: I see the withdrawal method come up a lot. I've had numerous doctors and actually educated sex educators say it's really a poor idea. Much as your post pointed out there's no guaranteeing someone can do it, or do it all the time. Furthermore there is no STI protection. I feel the latter should be mentioned more often on the subject too. Safe sex is the best :)

STIs are something I try to bring up in a lot of posts about birth control. Only condoms and dental dams protect from STIs which is why I suggest using them even when you’re on birth control. Especially considering you may have no symptoms, you may get regular testing, or you or your partner may even have never had sex before and you can still get STIs. 

The doctors I’ve talked to, and in my contraceptive class, whenever withdrawal is brought up they all say that when used with something else it’s good to boost effectiveness but try not to use it by itself. It is better than nothing, but if you can use something else.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: I see some mods have differing opinions. FYSE says withdrawal is a very effective method if used correctly while Jack says not at all.

Yes, we obviously do have differing opinions. Planned parenthood says that

• Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 4 will become pregnant each year if they always do it correctly.
• Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 27 will become pregnant each year if they don’t always do it correctly.

That second statistic is pretty poor, much worse than taking the pill imperfectly, and because young men and couples who are less experienced generally have less control than older couples who have been having sex for a longer time, the likelihood that it won’t be done correctly is much higher. 

I don’t know what the other mods think, so I hope they’ll jump in here.

- Jack

The fact of the matter is, it’s very difficult to use any method perfectly. That’s why we call the other statistic “typical” use, The withdrawal method is difficult to use correctly, and because it has such a high pregnancy rate when used typically it’s on a level of birth control that I usually say not to use by itself (just like spermicide or fertility awareness). It’s great when used with other methods because it can boost effectiveness, and it is better than nothing, but if you can use something else it’s best to do so.

-FYS

Anonymous asked: So recently, me and my boyfriend of two years have been having sex without a condom. I don't want to stop because of how amazing it feels and it makes me feel much closer. When he uses a condom he only lasts like 5 mins but without he can go for like 30 mins without losing his erection. (He does a lot) I'm on birth control and I take it every day (not always at the same time) and I don't let him cum in me. At the end he uses a condom. I'm 17 and I don't want to get pregnant. How safe am I?

Combination OCP + Withdrawal = 99.98% effective with perfect use - 97.84% effective with typical use

an explanation of perfect and typical use with these methods: 

• I’m using the pill, I take it at the same time every day and I make sure none of my medications, vitamins or herbals interfere: 1% chance of pregnancy
• I’m using the pill, but I sometimes forget to take it and I don’t check my medicines: 9% chance of pregnancy

• I’m using the withdrawal method, I make sure that I pull out well before ejaculation and never ejaculate near the vulva, and I make sure that I’ve urinated at least once and it’s been several hours since my last ejaculation so that sperm isn’t present: 15% chance of pregnancy
• I’m using the withdrawal method incorrectly: 24% chance of pregnancy

Remember, condoms are the only thing that protect from STIs and even if both of you have been tested, neither of you have had sex, and there are no symptoms you could get STIs. You may want to try polyurethane condoms, the internal condom, and/or using lube with condoms to increase your sensitivity.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: im a cisfemale considering having sex with my cismale partner for the 1st time. we're surely going to use a condom and i'm also on birth control, but it's the progesterone(sp?) pill and i've heard that's less effective. despite this i'm still paranoid about getting pregnant. do you have any advice for safer sex as a whole?

As long as you take the progestin pill at the same exact time every day you should be fine. You can also make sure he never ejaculates inside of you which will also decrease your chance of pregnancy. Here’s how to use these methods perfectly:

I’m using the pill, I take it at the same time every day and I make sure none of my medications, vitamins or herbals interfere: 1% chance of pregnancy

I’m using a condom, I check the expiration date and only use packages that don’t look damaged, I keep it in a cool dry area, I check the air bubble, I make sure to put it on correctly and right side out, I put it on before genitals touch, take it off after ejaculation and use one new condom every time genitals are touching, I make sure there’s enough lubrication and not to use oil based lubes, I check it from time to time to make sure it’s still intact: 2-3% chance of pregnancy

I’m using the withdrawal method, I make sure that I pull out well before ejaculation and never ejaculate near the vulva, and I make sure that I’ve urinated at least once and it’s been several hours since my last ejaculation so that sperm isn’t present: 15% chance of pregnancy

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: I am afraid I can't get pregnant. My boyfriend and me would like to have children, but for the past 8 years we have been having sex without anti conception. We have used condoms, but it most of the time when we have sex, he doesn't ejaculate inside of me. I have heard people say you can still get pregnant because of the fluids. But he is circumcised and doesnt have much fluids besides sperm. I never have been pregnant, but i have been late. do you think i cant get pregnant? thanks

You have a lower chance of getting pregnant if he doesn’t ejaculate inside of you. Sometimes people can not get pregnant for several years and then one day they do. It’s just luck of the draw pretty much. I’d say if you want to have children now, then talk to him and see if he’s ready and then start having him ejaculate inside of you. Usually they say to do this for around a year, if you don’t get pregnant then see a fertility specialist. If you’re not ready now, use a condom because you can get pregnant at any time even if you’ve never gotten pregnant before.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: so even after he cum's there could still be sperm on him? For the past year my boyfriend has came wiped with a baby wipe and then we have sex again. Is that not safe?

yes, it’s a myth that if he already ejaculated that there wouldn’t be sperm present. You’re more likely to get pregnant if you are using only the pull out method if he’s ejaculated right before because there will be sperm present not on the outside of the penis, but the inside. The penis will then secrete pre-ejaculation during arousal while inside of you and that pre-ejaculate will have the sperm that was left inside the penis. It’s less of a chance than if he ejaculated inside of you, but enough of a chance that I would not suggest using this method alone and using a condom or birth control with it.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: if i have unprotected sex with someone who hasn't ejaculated in over 24 hrs and did not ejaculate inside me, what is the risk of pregnancy?

I’m using the withdrawal method, I make sure that I pull out well before ejaculation and never ejaculate near the vulva, and I make sure that I’ve urinated at least once and it’s been several hours since my last ejaculation so that sperm isn’t present: 15% chance of pregnancy

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: If I've been taking BC for a full month and had unprotected sex(he pulled out) the day after my period ended, which was also the first night of starting my second pack of BC pills.I should be getting my period sometime this week since its my week that I'm not on pills but nothing yet.. Are the chances of pregnancy high or are they slim? Should I be worried?

Combination OCP + Withdrawal = 99.98% effective with perfect use - 97.84% effective with typical use

for an explanation on perfect vs typical use:

• I’m using the pill, I take it at the same time every day and I make sure none of my medications, vitamins or herbals interfere: 1% chance of pregnancy
• I’m using the pill, but I sometimes forget to take it and I don’t check my medicines: 9% chance of pregnancy

• I’m using the withdrawal method, I make sure that I pull out well before ejaculation and never ejaculate near the vulva, and I make sure that I’ve urinated at least once and it’s been several hours since my last ejaculation so that sperm isn’t present: 15% chance of pregnancy
• I’m using the withdrawal method incorrectly: 24% chance of pregnancy

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: My boyfriend and I just had sex and we used a condom. I've been on the pill for about 3 weeks now but I'm not sure how effective it is since I started before my period and had bleeding for 2 weeks and it just ended. He pulled out and then came on my stomach but some went around my vaginal area (it didn't go inside though). I went to the bathroom (about a half hour later) and saw thick white discharge on my panties. should i be worried about getting pregnant? I also washed the semen after sex

I’m a bit confused, how did he ejaculate on you if you were using a condom. Did he pull the condom off? How well you use the method of birth control affects how effective it is. With the pill at 3 weeks it would be effective, and here are some other conditions that affect effectiveness:

I’m using the pill, I take it at the same time every day and I make sure none of my medications, vitamins or herbals interfere: 1% chance of pregnancy

I’m using the pill, but I sometimes forget to take it and I don’t check my medicines: 9% chance of pregnancy

With a condom if you took it off before ejaculation or it came off inside you or whatnot you would be using it imperfectly, here are some other conditions:

I’m using a condom, I check the expiration date and only use packages that don’t look damaged, I keep it in a cool dry area, I check the air bubble, I make sure to put it on correctly and right side out, I put it on before genitals touch, take it off after ejaculation and use one new condom every time genitals are touching, I make sure there’s enough lubrication and not to use oil based lubes, I check it from time to time to make sure it’s still intact: 2-3% chance of pregnancy

I’m using a condom, I don’t check the expiration date, I use wrinkled packages that have been in my car, pocket or wallet, I don’t check the condom, I don’t know how to put a condom on, I use two condoms at a time, I keep going after ejaculation, I don’t use a new condom every time, I reuse condoms, I don’t make sure it’s lubricated, I use oil based lubes, or I don’t check it: 15-24% chance of pregnancy

If he didn’t ejaculate inside you that means you also used the withdrawal method, here is the effectiveness:

I’m using the withdrawal method, I make sure that I pull out well before ejaculation and never ejaculate near the vulva, and I make sure that I’ve urinated at least once and it’s been several hours since my last ejaculation so that sperm isn’t present: 15% chance of pregnancy

I’m using the withdrawal method incorrectly: 24% chance of pregnancy

If you used any of these methods imperfectly the effectiveness is somewhere around 97. 84% protected to 98.8% protected. If you used all of these methods perfectly it’s probably around 99.99% protected.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: So yesterday he put it inside of me from behind. But it was only for a sec bc I made him stop and after a little he finished on my but, so not inside, then he wiped it away as much as he could. Then he asked me a min, so I waited outside the bathroom, for a minute or less, between my butt-cheeks was soaked. After he was out the bathroom I went in and took a shower and washed those places. cn the semen leak to the vagina and can I be pregnant?

There’s always a chance of pregnancy. There is a lesser chance because he didn’t ejaculate on your vulva but yes the semen can leak to the vagina and also pre-ejaculate sometimes contains sperm from previous ejaculations. This means if your partner ejaculated within the last few hours or hadn’t urinated since his previous ejaculation you have a higher risk of pregnancy and should probably take some sort of emergency contraception.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: Two weeks ago me and my boyfriend had unprotected sex. While i was giving him a blowjob he came in my mouth. Then during sex he pulled out and not even a few seconds later he came. He usually only cums once. I asked you my chance of pregnancy and you said it was 30%. I had my period this week but it only lasted a few days. Should I take a pregnancy test or do you think I'm good?

I would take a pregnancy test just in case since the period was shorter than usual.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: I know there's a chance for pregnancy every time I have sex, condom or not, but my boyfriend has been putting it inside me and having sex with out a condom for a few minutes before he puts one on. I know there could be pre-cum, which could contain sperm, but it's been several hours since ejaculation/he urinated sometime before. We've done this 3 or 4 times this week, but today I feel really nauseated. could it be? too soon for symptom? help me ease my mind? he never came/been close.

It’s definitely too soon for pregnancy symptoms if you’ve only had sex like that this week. It’s probably unrelated. Also, even though the chance of pregnancy is relatively low doing it if it’s been several hours since last ejaculation and he urinated before, you still have a chance of STIs which you can get even if you’ve both been tested, never have had sex with anyone else before, or have never had any symptoms.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: I had sex for the first time yesterday around like 3pm. it is right now 11am next morning. I'm 15 years old female. My period was supposed to come nov. 9 but it didn't come since. We didn't use a condom but he didn't cum in me , he pulled out the last minute. I am scared that I could be pregnant or am I just worrying for no reason. I am going to take the morning pill today just incase but I'm wondering if it will still work. Help please? :(

It’s a really good idea to take the morning after pill. Here are the pregnancy statistics for the withdrawal technique:

• I’m using the withdrawal method, I make sure that I pull out well before ejaculation and never ejaculate near the vulva, and I make sure that I’ve urinated at least once and it’s been several hours since my last ejaculation so that sperm isn’t present: 15% chance of pregnancy
• I’m using the withdrawal method incorrectly: 24% chance of pregnancy

The pregnancy statistics for withdrawal and morning after pill:

Withdrawal + Emergency Contraception = 99.56% effective with perfect use - 93.25% effective with typical use

The morning after pill is more effective the sooner you take it, 

• I took the morning after pill within 24 hours: less than 10% chance of pregnancy
• I took the morning after pill within 72 hours: 11% chance of pregnancy
• I took the morning after pill 120 hours or more: the chance is reduced but not by much.

Remember, pregnancy isn’t the only thing you have to worry about. Condoms also protect from STIs which you can get even if neither of you have had sex before, neither of you have symptoms, or you’ve both been tested recently.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: Me and my boyfriend have sex all the time and we do not use protection but he always pulls out. My periods are sometimes up to three days late but usually never more I'm now six day late with a yeast infection and sore boobs. What are my chances?

• I’m using the withdrawal method, I make sure that I pull out well before ejaculation and never ejaculate near the vulva, and I make sure that I’ve urinated at least once and it’s been several hours since my last ejaculation so that sperm isn’t present: 15% chance of pregnancy
• I’m using the withdrawal method incorrectly: 24% chance of pregnancy

If you still haven’t gotten your period or it’s lighter than usual I’d definitely take a pregnancy test. You can get one at the doctors while getting your yeast infection treated. Definitely make sure you get tested for a yeast infection. A lot of STIs have the same symptoms as a yeast infection and if you haven’t been using condoms you run the risk of getting an STI.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: Wait, with the percentage of getting pregnant that you answered in a previous method about the withdrawal method is that percentage true wether the lady is on the pill or not? or does the 99% still apply if she uses the pill every day regardless if you ejaculate or withdrawal?

I’m not sure what question you’re referring to, but here’s all the info from my faq on pregnancy percentage with withdrawal and the pill

Combination OCP + Withdrawal = 99.98% effective with perfect use - 97.84% effective with typical use

to explain what perfect use for these methods mean: 

• I’m using the pill, I take it at the same time every day and I make sure none of my medications, vitamins or herbals interfere: 1% chance of pregnancy
• I’m using the pill, but I sometimes forget to take it and I don’t check my medicines: 9% chance of pregnancy

• I’m using the withdrawal method, I make sure that I pull out well before ejaculation and never ejaculate near the vulva, and I make sure that I’ve urinated at least once and it’s been several hours since my last ejaculation so that sperm isn’t present: 15% chance of pregnancy
• I’m using the withdrawal method incorrectly: 24% chance of pregnancy

-FYSE