TW: sexual abuse

Anon: Do you happen to have any advice regarding becoming more comfortable with oral? [cisfem. Sexually abused when younger] I’m just incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of it overall and I try not to bash it before I try it, but I know my discomfort affected my first experience with it when I finally let my boyfriend try. Just, any tips or anything?

FYSE: Don’t try anything you’re not comfortable with yet. I suggest learning more about oral sex and slowly making you feel better and more comfortable about oral sex. Here’s a post on Fellatio and Oral Sex and another on Cunnilingus and Oral Sex. Start with reading those and then try something like looking at pictures of it happening, reading erotica, and watching porn. Just do what you’re comfortable with and you’ll continue to become more comfortable. Talk to your partner about your discomfort and your sexual abuse and talk about how you’d like to try that at some point so they can work to help you feel more comfortable. Remember, when you try it you can stop at any time. If it gets to much and you don’t want to do it any more, tell your partner so they’ll stop. Make sure you talk about this before hand. It may help to have a safe word you can say so they know to stop immediately and check to make sure you’re okay.

Anonymous asked: Can you contract aids from oral? X

Taken from this post

Yes, HIV and AIDS can be spread through blood, semen, vaginal fluids, and breast milk. This means it can be passed through oral, anal, or vaginal sex, sharing needles, being deeply punctured by an instrument contaminated with HIV, getting HIV infected blood, semen, or vaginal fluids in an open sore or or wound. HIV is not transmitted through casual touch like kissing, sharing drinks or hugging. You can prevent spreading or getting the virus if you always use barrier methods, never share needles/join a needle exchange program, don’t share personal items that may have blood on them. There are low risk sexual activities like using clean sex toys, mutual masturbation/manual sex, oral sex with a condom or dental dams, deep kissing, and intercourse while using condoms.

-Alysha

EDIT: A valid point was made in a reply, the wrong wording is used in that post, you cannot “spread” AIDS. AIDS diagnoses occur when someone is HIV+ and presents with an opportunistic infection or their T cell count is below 200. HIV is the virus, AIDS is a condition.

TW: pressure into sex

Anon: My first (cis) boyfriend, about 2 years ago, was very demanding about oral sex and also very controlling in general and it was a bad relationship. Since then I have not given a blow job and I am very scared to and I don’t know why. It’s been so long. I want to give one to my current boyfriend but my fear keeps getting the way and it’s very frustrating. Help?

FYSE: It sounds like you’re still recovering from the bad relationship. Have you talked about this with your current partner. Talking about your experiences, your fears, and what you’re going through right now and what your feelings are can help a lot. Talking with a therapist can also help. Don’t rush yourself into anything you’re not comfortable with, but keep telling yourself that your current partner isn’t your ex. Not everyone will be abusive. Oral sex is fun and can be great for both of you when there is consent. Just keep working on it and don’t pressure yourself. Do things you feel comfortable with instead.

Anonymous asked: Over 5 hours ago my boyfriend and I did oral and he fingered me, I swallowed some pre cum but I had a little bit of food prior (some cookie dough and scrambled eggs). Now I feel a bit sick to my stomach and was wondering if it could be from that? It's not bad just uncomfortable. What else could I do to make this not reoccur? Thanks so much I love this blog!

From my FAQ:

Q: I get a stomach ache when I swallow semen what do I do?

A: This is fairly common. It could be that you just don’t like the taste/texture or just the idea of swallowing or giving oral sex, or it just doesn’t agree with your stomach, you’re hungry or have an empty stomach, or you have an allergy. You can either have the person wear a condom, or spit, or some people say that drinking a cold glass of water after helps their stomach settle. Eating something light before hand or making sure you’re not hungry can help. Wearing a condom is a quick fix and has the added bonus of protecting against STIs. If the problem is an allergy this would probably be the most likely to help you. An allergist can tell you for sure if you have an allergy but if you can’t afford one just use a condom. Also some vegetarians and vegans have this problem as it becomes more difficult for them to process animal protein. Don’t feel like you have to swallow, especially if it causes you pain or you’re just really not into it. Your enjoyment is just as important as your partner’s. If you don’t want to just talk to your partner and come up with something you both like doing.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: I have a very bad throat and its covered in ulcers, so i went to the doctors and they said it was perfecly healthy.. (weird) can I perform oral sex on my boyfriend because i haven't just yet and i'd like to or is it not safe?

Just a tip, I get canker sores (which are mouth ulcers) all the time, salt water gargling helps a lot to keep them clean and help them heal faster. Also avoid very citrus-y food, and taking echinacea and vitamin C and eating garlic can help boost your immune system so they heal faster.

As long as you’re keeping them clean, oral sex shouldn’t be a problem.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: This is probably a really dumb question, but I've never given a blow job before. Is it possible for a penis to be too wide to fit in a mouth? I'm not talking about length, just width. What's the average penis width?

The average penis circumference is 4 - 5 inches, diameter being about 1.25 - 1.6 inches (which is about the same as an empty roll of scotch tape). There are very wide penises that, depending on how big your mouth is, may be difficult to take fully into the mouth. In those cases you can use your tongue, lips, and hands to help stimulate the parts you can’t fit into your mouth.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: can i still perform oral sex if i hae tonsil stones?

yup! I have tonsil stones from so many bouts of strep throat and I’ve never had a problem. Once I got a pube stuck in one of the craters which was really uncomfortable but it doesn’t cause any health problems.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: My face gets really irritated whenever I perform oral sex on my girlfriend. I get a bunch of bumps on my chin. Is that normal? They go away after a couple weeks but it makes me hesitant to do it.

This is really common! Sometimes the liquids just clog up pores. It can help to either wash your face after or use a dental dam during.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: are there any how to guides on how to give a blowjob? ive seen ones on how to eat someone but ive never seen a blowjob one...

I have a post, all of my guides can be found in my FAQ

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: I hate giving blowjobs, but I want to try and please my boyfriend as much as possible. I've attempted to give him one multiple times, but he gets turned on and there's always precum so I decided to try placing a condom on his penis, but even the taste of the condom disgusted me. Is there anything else I could use in place of a condom that's ...tasty?

You could try a flavored condom or use flavored lube. I’ve also heard non-latex condoms tend to have less of a bad taste. Experiment with these and figure out what works for you.

If you can’t find anything, don’t feel pressured to perform oral sex if you really don’t like it. There are many different things you can do that will be pleasurable for your partner and you.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: I'm a cisf in a relationship with a cism. Sometimes when he gives me oral, I lose my orgasm. I don't really know how to describe it, just in the middle suddenly the feeling will be gone and I'll be exhausted. I feel really bad because he gets excited and worked up and then he won't do anything because I'm out of the mood. I usually end up crying because I'm so distraught, what can I do?

Coach him and tell him what feels good and what doesn’t. Do things to build your arousal like having him stimulate your breasts or grab your buttox while he’s doing it. Give lots of feedback. Relax and focus on your breathing. It could be you are orgasming, only it’s really small. Try incorporating whatever stimulation usually makes you orgasm into oral play. Have him trade off with using his hands and his mouth to keep stimulation up. 

-FYSE

bebymethen asked: response to the anon who couldn't finish her bf w/ a blowjob: I dunno about others with penises, but i (cism) have the same problem if I start then stop a lot when I'm close, I'll lose my erection. Important thing is to enjoy yourself though, so as long as you're both happy, it's okay not to orgasm.

Anonymous asked: Hello! My boyfriend wants to go down on me but I have heard that some vaginas have a bad taste. I would rather not be embarrassed if it tasted bad. Is there anything I can do to avoid this? Anything in preparation?

From my FAQ: 

Q: My/my partner’s genital fluids smells/tastes weird. What can we do to change that?

A: The only time that vaginal smell should be a problem is if it’s an indicator of an infection. If it comes with atypically colored discharge, itchiness, or pain that could mean that there’s an infection and you/your partner needs to get checked out. Any odor or taste could also be due to sweating that there might be a strong odor or taste. You could always take a bath together to fix that! Other than that, there are foods like pineapple that supposedly makes it smell/taste better, and foods like asparagus and garlic that supposedly makes it smell/taste worse. Alcohol and cigarettes can also affect taste and smell. That being said, unless there is a infection the smell and taste are natural and you can grow to tolerate or even like it. A lot of people feel shame about their natural smells, so try not to feel bad about it or make your partner feel bad about it. Your main concern should be pleasing your partner and having fun doing it. Of course, if you really can’t stand the taste you can use a dental dams or condoms! Dental dams and condoms not only protect the users from STDs/STIs but also keep you from tasting whatever you are orally pleasing. Most products that advertise getting rid of vaginal smells/tastes are actually really bad for the vagina and vulva area and all the cleaning a vulva needs is washing with water.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob and he was lasting ages (which is great), i ended up having to go before he came but i think he was taking so long because his tip is really sensitive... Is there any way we could stop this?

When something is too sensitive to be touched, try stimulating other areas. You can use your tongue and hands in a blowjob as well, you don’t have to have the full penis in your mouth the whole time. Communication is really important, have him tell you what feels good, how fast to go, how hard to go, and where to stimulate. Try different things! Explore all of the penis and the testicles to find what feels good.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: hello, i've got a question, well, i have braces and i'd really like to give a blowjob to my boyfriend, how do i do it or i just can´t? D:

You can do it! They make mouth guards for braces, so try to find that. Also, just keep your lips over your teeth. Mainly use your lips and hands. Avoid touching the penis to your teeth.

-FYSE