Anonymous asked: Hey, cismale here. Do you guys have any tips of hooking up or making out? Thanks in advance :)
Well it depends on what you mean by hooking up. If you’re talking about actually meeting people the biggest thing is to be social. Of course the most common thing would be to meet at a bar or club, having a conversation, and then asking if they’d like to hang out somewhere else. From there try to go to a place where you can actually talk and discuss sexual history, if you’ve been tested or have an STI, and any boundaries. If you are too young for a bar or prefer actually getting to know someone first, I explain how to meet people in my insecurities post;
When you’re looking for a partner the biggest part is being social. Again, this does have to do with confidence. You can take it a step at a time. Just get out there. You can just take a walk or a drive, spend time in casual public places like parks, libraries, museums, cafes, wherever. You don’t have to talk to anyone. Just spend time with yourself doing whatever you want to do. Spending alone time in public can definitely make you more comfortable with being around people. Then you slowly make your way up to talking to people. First, make eye contact. Then smile. Then nod or wave. To interact with people you can hold the door open for them or help them if they’ve dropped something, compliment them. Something small that’s just nice. Then you start up a conversation. You can segue from helping them with something or complimenting them. If they have an animal or child you can complement the animal or child, say hi and be nice. If you see you have common interests (like if they’re reading a book you like or if they’re talking about something you are knowledgeable about) let them know. Go out and do things that you’re interested in. Take classes, get involved in community activities or events. You’re more likely to meet someone you have something in common with there. Of course you can always try dating sites, that way you’re sure to meet someone you have something in common with. Whenever you find someone you like, just ask if they’d like to meet again. Exchange numbers, arrange a time to hang out. Then ask them out. Keep it casual at first, get to know them. Then you can get more serious as you find if you’re really compatible.
As far as tips on the actual sex I cover this in my post So You Want to Become Sexually Active?
As far as kissing goes Everyone kisses and has sex differently differently. Some people like different techniques than others. Just do what feels naturally and pay attention to what your partner does. Everything about sex comes with a lot of practice and experimentation and communication. Tell your partner what feels good and encourage your partner to do the same.