Anonymous asked: My pmsing symptoms are mostly crying at everything for a whole week before my period. I dread getting my period every month because of this. Would a doctor see that as reason enough to prescribe a birth control pill so i can have only 4 periods a yr?

Yes, definitely! Generally speaking doctors will let you choose what birth control you want to be on, you just need to tell them what you want from your birth control. 

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: I'm an 18 year old cisf. Is it normal for me to feel emotional after sex/masturbation? I don't cry while having sex or anything, but I often feel very moody. I have started crying if I experience any negative feelings after masturbation (ie. bad memories, stress), but I can hold that off with another person. Basically, am I weird??

Note weird at all! This is a very common condition called post orgasmic tristesse. It can be caused by bad experiences or a release of hormones. If you do have any bad experiences it’s a good idea to address it and talk it out with someone. If you have periods of sadness and depression even when not masturbating/having sex, therapy, other treatments,  and antidepressants may help.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: Is it okay to have meaningless sex because you're emotionally distraught? I've known a lot of people who had break ups and then had a lot of flings; I know that physically, if you're being safe, a lot of sex is fine, but I was just wondering if this is the best thing for a person's mental stability, or if it is just another way to self destruct?

It really depends on the person. For some people it can help them deal with their issues better, for others not so much. As with any potentially harmful behavior it’s a symptom, not a cause. The main thing if a friend is having meaningless sex because they’re sad isn’t to shame them for having meaningless sex, but talk to them about what they’re going through. If having sex is how they deal then that’s fine, as long as eventually they do work through what they’re going through which is the best way to heal. Ignoring and repressing only go so far and can end up compounding things.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: I've hung out with this guy a few times, and we ended up having sex yesterday. I've only had sex with two other guys, and I dated them both a long time. I'm not really sure how to feel. Like maybe I should regret it, but I don't? However I am afraid this will make me feel attached to him, and he is leaving for the army in a month so fml. Not exactly a question, but any kind of advice would be nice.

Everyone reacts to sex differently, and it’s different for every person you have sex. There’s no telling if you’ll become attached or not. There’s definitely nothing you should feel bad about or regret. If you do become attached you can work through that, but try not to worry about that unless it happens.

-FYSE

TW: Rape

Anon: I was raped about 3 or 4 years ago. A friend of mine got me black out drunk and I woke up to him having sex with me. At the time, I didn’t realize it was rape and I wasn’t really affected by it other than my boyfriend breaking up with me for “cheating.” Recently after learning about rape, I learned that I actually was and I’m still completely unaffected by it. I feel like this isn’t normal, my lack of emotion concerns me. Like, I’m not even mad at the guy. Shouldn’t I feel angry or something?

FYSE: Rape affects everyone differently. Some people aren’t traumatized or upset by it and that’s fine. It’s good to know what happened and that it wasn’t your fault (and it definitely wasn’t in any way cheating and you’re probably better off without being with someone who thinks that rape would be cheating). There’s really no “should” when it comes to reacting to rape.

Anonymous asked: My girlfriend is getting cranky all the time. Before she was not like that. We were a happy couple, doing all this mushy stuffs together in public. Then recently she changed. We talk about it and she told we that we do way to much sex, I'm not as I used to be like im not as sweet. She told me that she would change but later that evening she was cranky again what should I do? I don't want to loose her because I love her

The thing about emotions are you can’t really change them at will. If she’s emotional, there’s probably a reason. Ask her what’s wrong and what you can do to help. If she thinks that you have too much sex, maybe take a while to cool down. Let her take the lead of when you have sex. Come up with something fun you can both do together. Both of you should be addressing what’s going on in the relationship and in your lives that are causing any negative feelings. Lean on each other and help each other work through it. If things continue to be rocky give her some space. Working on your lives as individuals can help take stress off of relationships.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: I've been talking to this guy online, it really seemed like he really liked me. He said all of these nice things about me, said I would make a good girlfriend, and talked to me 3 times a week. He said we should meet someday and he would wait for me, I really liked him. I went on his blog and found out that he found out that a girl he has liked for awhile likes him back and I feel awful. Now I feel like I hate myself. I dont know if im being over sensetive, but I feel led on and I still like him.

It can really hurt whenever someone we liked, who said they liked us, likes someone else. Emotions are complicated, so he may not have meant to lead you on, and he may still like you but like this other girl as well. It’s healthy to let yourself feel the full range of emotions you are feeling. Depending on what you feel comfortable with and what would make you feel better you can either talk to him about it, tell him how you feel and ask him what’s going on, or you can just totally separate yourself from him and pursue other things. Although this kind of disappointment can be hard, don’t blame yourself. You will find other people you like who likes you back. Try to fill up your time with things that make you feel good and that you find fun until you get over him.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: what is the scientific explanation behind the bond formed in casual sex relationships known as 'catching feelings'?

There is none. What it comes down to is some people form a bond during casual sex where they decide they want more from the relationship and some people don’t. Feelings, emotions, sex, and relationships are really complicated and there are some things we just don’t have a scientific answer for.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: I'm a 16-year old cis-female and I masturbated for the first time yesterday and afterwards, all I wanted to do was smile. I felt extremely happy and very energetic, like I was on some kind of high. Does this seem like a first-time thing, or do some people really feel that way all the time when they masturbate and/or have sex?

Masturbation usually releases hormones that can make you feel really happy. A lot of things can like sex, exercise, or certain foods or activities. Everyone reacts differently but this is a common experience.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: So recently I've realized I've picked up some bad habits from my very southern family and when my littlest bro is hurt or upset or just expressing his feelings I tend to brush them off and snap at him to 'Man up' and stuff like that. I'm trying to stop but it's harder than I thought because my entire family still does the same thing. This isn't a sex ed question, but do you have any advice? I love my bro and I don't want to hurt him at all- especially his emotional growth.

I’m from the south too so I see this all the time. I was coddled as a child, but my brothers when they showed emotion where told to suck it up and grow up. 

Talk to your brother. There’s not a whole lot you can do about your parents unless they’re open minded, but you can do some damage control. Get your little brother alone and let them know that the world is unfair and people will judge you for different things but that doesn’t mean that what they’re saying is right or okay. Explain how important it is to express your emotions and even if he can’t go to your parents he can come to you when he has a problem or needs someone to rely on. Remind him that his emotions are normal and healthy and no matter what nothing will change that and change who he is as a person.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: I'm 15 in 10th grade. I'm a virgin but it seems to me that if i end up having a boyfriend i would want to have sex with him. I'm not sure if its good or not. Like, the emotions and everything

It’s not necessarily good or bad that you think you might want to have sex if you have a boyfriend in the near future. It’s really up to you to know when you are ready to have sex. Here are a few questions to ask yourself before becoming sexually active. 

However, there are a lot of things to consider before becoming sexually active. First of all, your partner’s feelings—does your partner want to be sexually active with you? What kind of relationship do you have/want to have? Do you trust each other? It is extremely important to communicate with your partner in order to ensure that any sex you do have is 100% consensual and both of you are on the same page emotionally. There are a lot of emotions that could go along with sex, which can be fantastic (love, excitement, emotional connection, etc.) or problematic (anxiety, discomfort, confusion, etc.), and the main way to ensure that you have a positive sexual experience is to be sure you and your partner communicate your feelings openly and honestly. 

Of course, the main thing to remember is that you should never do something you are uncomfortable with—for example, sex may seem great when you think about it, but if you don’t feel ready to physically do it and experience the (hopefully positive, but possibly negative) emotions that go along with it, then it may be better to wait. 

If you do feel ready and so does your partner, then there are some other very important things to know. Be sure to check out the safe sex, birth control, consent, and foreplay links that are embedded within that post as well. 

Hopefully this helps you to think about both the emotional and physical factors that go into being sexually active so that you can make a well-informed decision. The decision is really up to you and your partner, however, so make sure that you only do what you feel comfortable with. 

-Rachel

Anonymous asked: I just need someone to tell me I'm not being stupid here; well I'm in a ldr with my lovely boyfriend and I today I got horny and decided to turn on some porn and rub one out. Suddenly, in the middle of all this the guy in it started to be real sweet and tender with the girl and did some things that my man does to me and I immediately burst out crying and didn't stop for another 10 minutes. It just seems to out of the blue, is this normal? I went from aroused to completely lonely and miserable in

Yes this is normal. You miss your boyfriend, and masturbation and action in porn can remind you of that fact. Also, a lot of hormones are released during masturbation which can make your emotions even more volatile. This is a pretty common occurrence, just be sure to let your boyfriend know you miss him and see if you can text/email/skype/call him so you feel less lonely.

-FYSE

Anonymous asked: Over the past month or so, after sex, I have the uncontrollable urge to cry and often break out sobbing. It's not out of pain or anything - the sex is fantastic. I just burst out crying afterward. My boyfriend puts it down to hormones but have you ever heard of this before and is there any other reason for it than hormones? It's confusing and a little unsettling for me and not a very good afterglow.

It’s definitely a common response to cry after sex and/or orgasm. Your boyfriend is right, a lot of hormones are released when you have sex and that can lead to an emotional response afterward. It’s possible that you’ve been more stressed than usual this past month, and sex can often feel like a release—not only a physical release but a release of emotions, and crying could be your body’s way of releasing stress.

If you have a healthy relationship with your boyfriend and you aren’t feeling insecure about the sex or your relationship, most likely hormones are just making you emotional after sex. If you are feeling insecure or worried about your relationship, that could also contribute to your crying after sex, so if that’s the case you may want to consider talking to your boyfriend about your relationship. If you’ve experienced sexual abuse or other negative experiences relating to sex in the past, consider talking to a therapist or someone you trust about that, as it could be another reason for crying after sex. 

As long as the sex and your relationship feel right for you, then the crying should be nothing to worry about—hormones are the most likely cause of your emotional response!

-Rachel

TW: Rape, sexual assault

That trigger warning is not a joke, very seriously triggering question about rape and the trauma thereof ahead.

Anon: Pardon my asking, but what is it that makes sexual assault so traumatizing? I am not denying that it is traumatizing. I’ve seen the statistics and heard many victim stories. Everyone says that it basically an assault on your own body in the most invasive way possible.

FYSE: Yes, that’s pretty much it. Like all abuse it’s someone taking away all of your power and causing pain to you without caring about that at all. Sexual assault in particular is horrible because it involves sexuality which is supposed to be something special. Your sexuality is something that is thoroughly yours and is supposed to be used to make you feel good. It’s using your own body and capacity for sex against you as a weapon. It can be used to dehumanize you. It can make you feel like your body and your sexuality isn’t yours because someone took it away from you.

And now I’m crying.

That’s the emotional toil that abuse, especially sexual abuse, takes on you. Even if you’ve not been through it. Even if you’ve just had loved ones been through it. Especially if you’re perceived as a female. Because we live in fear that it’s going to happen to us. Because statistically speaking it probably will.

Anonymous asked: TW: Sexual Assault Is it normal to NOT have any ptsd-symptoms over being sexually assaulted? Because other than being a bit more nervous around male-bodied people, I'm pretty much okay, mentally, emotionally, and physically, and I always felt really...weird for not being "traumatized" over it.

Definitely. PTSD and related symptoms only occur in some cases of assault/abuse. Everyone deals with it differently.