Anonymous asked: Do you think there's an amount of people you have to be with before you find a good relationship? I'm 17 and I've been with my first boyfriend ever for 3 years now, and I feel like everyone is just waiting for us to fail. I love him so much, and I'm terrified to be intimate with him (emotionally or physically) because I don't want to ever lose him and what we have.
Absolutely not! There is definitely no amount of people you have to be with before you find a good relationship! I’m actually in pretty much the same boat as you—I’m also 17, and have been dating my boyfriend for over 2 years now (I only dated one guy before him, for like 5 months). I have learned pretty much everything I know about relationships from my current relationship. We have grown so much together and overcome a lot thanks to each other, but I also sometimes feel like people are waiting for us to fail.
BUT the important thing is to know: you don’t have to feel as though your relationship will fail just because that’s what others think. As long as the two of you want to make your relationship work, chances are it will work. I find that besides love, the most important things to have in a relationship are communication, trust, and honesty. If you are worried about where your relationship is going, talk to your boyfriend about it! Most likely he also doesn’t want to lose you or your great relationship.
Of course, over time people and situations change, so it may be difficult to think about your long-term future together (as in, “forever”), but think maybe about the next year or so. Are you both committed to each other for the near future?
It’s difficult to find a definite answer for the “will we be together forever/a long time?” question, so I would honestly say that you should just truly enjoy what you have together for as long as both of you want to. Don’t let the fear of breaking up stop you from enjoying your relationship if it’s healthy and overall happy so far. Be as emotionally and physically intimate as you feel comfortable with—intimacy can be important but the level of intimacy is up to you!
Of course, once you and your boyfriend establish where your relationship is going and the level of commitment you have to each other, that may influence how intimate your relationship becomes. Just remember to communicate openly with each other and be honest about your feelings.
-Rachel (sorry for the long response, I just relate to this quite a bit!)