Anonymous asked: My boyfriend and I have had sex for the past 3 weeks since my period ended. We always use protection however a few days later every time I start to get cramps. The cramps also happen when he fingers me. Nothing else has changed except recently I've also had found white discharge afterwards. Is this normal/am I pregnant?
Cramping after vaginal stimulation is relatively normal. Using more foreplay, more lube, and going slower can help reduce the risk.
Usually pain or blood with any sort of entry to the vagina is caused by the vagina not being aroused enough. Lube can definitely make it easier. Also, you need to be sure to use a lot of foreplay. Whenever you’re fully aroused your vagina usually loosens, lengthens, and starts producing it’s own lubrication. Be sure to be in a really sensual environment, some place where you aren’t rushed and some place you’re comfortable. You can start with your partner giving you a full body massage, being sure to touch your erogenous zones. They can also kiss you all over. Or if you’re alone you can watch porn, touch your erogenous zones or whatever else turns you on. Then you need to prepare your vagina. You can do this either with oral sex, with toys or with fingers. Be sure that the clitoris is being stimulated, as well around the vaginal opening. You can also stimulate the labia and other erogenous zones. Once you feel ready, and use lube if needed, you can try entry with the fingers. After you’ve stimulated the vagina with fingers or toys and make sure it’s stretched you can try intercourse if you wish. Some people don’t produce enough vaginal lubrication, if so use some lube. Everyone’s arousal is different, some don’t like their clitoris touched, others do. Communication is key. There are disorders that can make sex really painful, so if you’re still having trouble see a gynecologist!
For more information on the types of techniques that can keep you from having pain or bleeding during intercourse read my Sexual Techniques to Reduce Pain post.
As for pregnancy, there’s always a chance of pregnancy but this is probably unrelated. Any time you miss your period or it’s lighter or shorter than usual, take a pregnancy test.