Anonymous asked: hi,im 16 and i cant really get a erection without watching porn can you please help
This is really common! A lot of people need the added psychological stimulation of pornography or sex with a partner to be able to get or maintain arousal. The only time I’d really be worried is if you couldn’t get or maintain an erection during sex, if you just masturbate I really wouldn’t be worried.
If you are sexually active and having issues with getting or maintaining an erection, here’s my advice:
Usually losing an erection is a psychological issue, although occasionally it is physical. If they can’t keep an erection during masturbation it could be physical and they might need to see a doctor. Other than that it could be anxiety or insecurities about sex, their body, the relationship or anything like that. Ask them about it and see if there’s anything that you need to work through. Also, have them coach you and tell you what feels the best and what doesn’t. Communication is key! It could also be that the condom is the wrong size. It should not be uncomfortable or tight. You can also try a thinner condom to increase sensitivity.
Something else that could also help is increasing sensitivity, here’s how you do that:
Lighten the friction and pressure when you’re masturbating. Keep control of your breath and stroke your clitoris/penis as lightly as you can. You can also try stimulating through cloth or using lube. Both decrease friction which can increase sensitivity. You might have to experiment with pressure to orgasm and it might take longer but you’ll get there! Also, be sure to touch your other erogenous zones. Keep practicing until you can orgasm with the lightest touch you can manage. We get used to our own touch, a good way to keep us from doing this is to shake up our masturbation routine. Try different positions (lying down, sitting down, on your knees, on your hands and knees, standing up, against a wall etc), try different techniques (going in circles, flicking, up and down, side to side, not touching directly on the clitoris or specific part of the penis, pulling the hood/foreskin back, leaving the hood/foreskin forward, etc), try decreasing your speed and friction (go slower and softer), and use different kinds of toys if you use them or go without toys at all. Sometimes we get so trained on the orgasm when we masturbate we don’t slow down to enjoy it and it trains our body to that particular motion so other motions make us less likely to orgasm. Also try incorporating vaginal or anal stimulation into your routine. That way you can practice orgasming from g-spot/prostate stimulation or combining genital and penetrative stimulation.