I feel you sister. Queer theory is some rage inducing shit, and unfortunately I have no words of comfort to offer. The ideology is very dangerous, arguably the biggest issue facing feminists today.
Its come to a point where radical feminists cannot gather in women only spaces without threats of violence from MRA’s hiding behind queer theory. Women are not allowed to define or name their oppression, and our history is erased. Lesbians are painted as homophobic. Every gay or lesbian person is expected to adopt the ‘queer’ moniker even though many are not comfortable with that title as it was, and still is a slanderous term. Same goes for ‘cis’, another title being assigned regardless if the person agrees with that connotation or not. The litany of problematic hateful crap goes on, and there is no benefit to be had.
You certainly don’t have to apologize for being angry, feminists need to get angry!